evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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