They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
this is an emotional support booty call
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
