Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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