Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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