Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
