I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
