And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
