She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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