So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
