i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
