I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
