I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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