also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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