only if we run a train.
done.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize