doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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