Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize