I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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