I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
