just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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