I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
