did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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