i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
