Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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