Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
