We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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