There is no way he is gay with that hair.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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