writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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