The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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