He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
