i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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