so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize