is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
