I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
