I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize