whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Boobs speak an international language.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
