After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
