Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
