I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
