Yo dont text me then not text me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
