You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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