i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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