plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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