Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
