My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
COCAINE IS GR8
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
