In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
