Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
