Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
