i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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