Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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