Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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