every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
