R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
