she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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