Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
