The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize