i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he thought i was a dude.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
