Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
