That's intense
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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